Homecoming

Me & C. outside the shop apartment the day of our first adventure. 

I feel odd being awake while my husband and children rest. I have laid beside them for a few short moments only, listening to the deep and steady draws of their breath. On one level, I feel it a blessing and calling to be with them. On another, thoughts are stacked within my mind like jagged pieces of glass, and I must write to relieve the pain and to realign the energy of my chakras. By writing down anything genuine, my throat chakra opens and becomes attuned so that all communication clears and flows with greater ease. One thing I've learned of late is not to fear being authentic. If I am being authentic, then my actions tend to explain themselves. I am being authentic now--curled in my husband C.'s chair, in the living room of the home he built beside the railroad tracks. I visited our old shop apartment tonight for the first time in almost three years. I originally left it in a flurry after returning from work back when I taught 7th grade at a public middle school. C.had planned this sudden exodus into our new home to be a surprise. He and most of our things were gone. Our friend Mark greeted me and told me that I had to go immediately. I didn't really say goodbye.

I guess moving right across the tracks somewhat dimmed the blow, as did my ongoing connection to the shop. C. still worked there, afterall. It was still the regular destination of daily evening strolls. However, all my focus was on the common areas--not the upstairs bathroom where I sat crouched in the very first contractions of labor with my firstborn child, not the bedroom where my future husband explained that I could not ride a motorcycle in jeans and carefully laid out his leathers for me to wear on our first adventure , not the living room where I'd stay up nights with my stepson when he couldn't sleep but his father could no longer combat the sweet seduction of slumber, nor the spot where I used to cuddle my daughter when she was so tiny and fit right across my chest, her tiny heart beating into mine. That old apartment is where my stepson came to stay for his first legal visit and where my daughter spent her first year on Earth. One night we took her to hospital in Atlanta and held her little hands while she lay across an x-ray table. The doctors told us not to let her lie on her back that night, so we set her up on a couch in the living room and held her and each other. For the first time, I really felt myself to be part of a family, a mother and wife. The old apartment was a place of breakdowns and breakthroughs, most of which I hadn't considered until its current occupants invited me to go up there and have a look around.

One thing I've gleaned from my 20s, along with not fearing authenticity, is that all relationships resemble those between precious prickly porcupines, which will endure minor wounds in order to receive each other's life-sustaining warmth and closeness. Bearing that in mind, the time I've spent in each of my adult homes has been over-whelmingly loving and besieged by fewer stresses than I imagine most families have known during a historic decade of economic depression and war. The raw energy within our loft gave birth to our life within our present house, and our life here has given birth to both our youngest son and our new careers, which have the potential to dramatically re-shape perceptions of both individuals and society. While these are still in the process of being realized fully, my rapid departure from the shop three years ago is evidence that change strikes with speed.

As for the loft itself, my recent tour revealed that it is still a rapidly evolving energy center--an amalgam of fear, confusion, peace, joy, sorrow, sweetness, passion and hope charged by an atmosphere of sweat, smoke, steel and song. Its inhabitants manipulate these frequencies in the manner that a welder makes his art and, alongside my husband and me, continue co-creating a story that will take us to other places when we've mastered the challenges of our present homes and embraced the joy they've contained.

The Shaman and Ayahuasca

I read the Shaman and Ayahuasca in a period of 3 days, throughout which I shared some sections with my sleepless one-year-old son. On whole, it clarified questions, dismantled stereotypes and provided a perspective through which anyone interested in healing, culture and plant-based medicine can understand and appreciate the practice of Ayahuasca Shamanism regardless of whether they plan to journey. Translated by Costa Rica-born sacred muscian and healer Alberto Roman, the book reads like a conversation through which Don Jose Campos invites readers to enter a meditation with him. The subject matter is at times grave, bizarre, sad, beautiful and humorous. However, this work of creative non-fiction moves forward with a fluid pace and inviting tone which makes everything palatable and worth consideration regardless of your personal beliefs. For scientists, The Shaman and Ayahuasca will raise far more questions that it answers. However, for the "everyman" it will succeed in making the idea of shamanism a bit less slippery and a lot easier to embrace.

In addition to author Don Jose Campos, translator Alberto Roman, publisher Michael Wiese and Michael's wife Geraldine Overton add their personal voices to the story. This editorial step toward breaking down barriers and creating community is an apt illustration of Ayahuasca's potential to positively impact lives by connecting people to each other, themselves as individuals and the source of all life--whatever one perceives that to be.

Active Meditation with a Side of Milk

I'm making this post in honor of my original homeschool student Brantley. He has a bright spirit and likes to find his own way to go about discovering meaning in his world. Therefore, it didn't strike me as odd when he told me what he wanted for his 13th birthday was "a new way to meditate that doesn't involve just sitting quietly or picturing something that doesn't take long to do." I've failed this student by not fulfilling his request until now, after he's already spent over a month as a teen. I've also failed to update this blog in around the same amount of time. I apologize to each of you.  Here's to new years and new beginnings. In peace, Kelli

Now, let's meditate, ACTIVELY!

What does this mean, exactly?

Well, meditation is the act of calmly but deliberately clearing and quieting your mind. When you carry a general intention to the meditation (such as how to find the perfect job, building stronger relationships, do well in school, etc.), then the answer will normally just "come" to you after your mind has been cleansed of the clutter. Many people meditate in a traditional way by sitting cross-legged and breathing while visualizing colors associated with chakras, the body's major energy centers. However, other people find this difficult, time-consuming and sometimes just not the most effective way to find a sense of clarity and calm. For those of us who feel that way (and, yes, I include myself here!), there is active meditation. My personal favorite forms of active meditation are cleaning, dancing, walking and drumming. Dancing and drumming give me a great focal point in the form of a musical beat. Cleaning, dancing and walking are also somewhat physically stimulating, so I get a little endorphin rush and a sense of physical fitness and personal accomplishment. Cleaning is also just really great metaphorically. As my student Brantley and I discussed during our last homeschool session of the summer, when you clean and LITERALLY make surfaces clearer and areas less cluttered, your mind follows suit!

That stuff is all "old hat" though. Today I'm busting out a new form of active meditation, which also produces a tasty and healthy (or, at least, healthiER!) birthday treat.

Supply List

3/4 cup olive oil
1.5 cups brown sugar
apple sauce
2 tablespoons flax meal
6 tablespoons water
2.25 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
1 standard-size bag dark chocolate chips
1 tablespoon of honey
lavender essential oil
burner
Ralph Roddenbery's "Nobody Else Can Be Yourself"

Process

1. Fill the basin of your essential oil burner with water and add up to 15 drops of lavender oil. CAREFULLY light a tea light candle and place it under the basin in the appropriate spot. Diffusing the lavender will clear the atmosphere and help you relax.

2. Pre-heat a conventional oven to 375 degrees F. Tell yourself that sometimes life "heats up" so good that creation can take place. Recognize all pressure, tension and "heat" in your life as being necessary for personal growth.

3. Mix together all ingredients EXCEPT apple sauce, chocolate chips and honey. Tell yourself that chaos brings positive change, that all are one and that all things return to peace.

4. Slowly add apple sauce to the mix. Continue adding apple sauce and mixing to give it a smooth, consistency that is easy to stir. Think of all the connections in your life. Remind yourself as you add the applesauce to your mix that everything comes together in the end.

5. Add the bag of chocolate chips and the honey and blend them in. Smile because you are adding sweetness to both the mix and your life.

6. Scoop little balls of the mix onto your cookie sheet. Use wax paper or treat cookie sheet with some spray oil or butter so the cookies won't stick.

7. Bake the cookies for 10 minutes. While they are baking play "Nobody Else Can Be Yourself." Sing the words aloud and dance.  Be proud of who you are. Keep this song on repeat, or sing and dance to other inspirational music. Here is a link to a live performance of the song!

8. Enjoy your cookies!!!! They will look a little "undercooked" at first but will firm up when they cool. As you are eating the cookies, take a moment to savor them. Pay attention to the way each bite feels inside your mouth. Notice the way the cookies taste and smell. As you enjoy the cookies, think thoughts of gratitude and imagine the chakras lighting up within you: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo and violet. Imagine a rainbow wraps around you to keep you safe and warm. Remind yourself that you have the power to feel this way and the no one can ever take away your ability to be yourself.

Emergence of the Natural Shaman (Bienvenidos, Alberto!)

photo by my friend Wendy Ritchey of ArtisticallyStiched.com 

I look up to see a gigantic foam structure towering over me. It’s the bust of a female gymnast obtained by my husband C. back when the Olympics came to Altanta and marriage was still something I vaguely thought I’d do when I “grew up” and completed middle school. The gymnast is flanked by weathered Blue Meanies and a Yellow Submarine crafted for a Turner Broadcasting tribute to the Beatles. Since then, these sculptures have been carted back and forth many times to and from Atlanta’s Lake Claire Community Land Trust where they’ve graced the stage at the Peace and Love Fest and other musical gatherings. It was at one of these that C. first introduced me to Candler Park and Little 5 Points, areas that have since become my homes within the city. My other more constant homes are a loft built within the same warehouse where the gymnast balances in the rafters and a wooden house my husband built right across the railroad tracks where trains pass like an industrial river through the night.

C. has been active with Atlanta’s arts underground for almost two decades. However, his recognition as a key element of this scene occurred less frequently within Atlanta than within its far rural outskirts, where the warehouse sits at a crossroads pivotal to the South’s defeat in the Civil War. When he first moved his scenery business here, he was an anomaly with long dreaded hair, tie-dyed shirts and a utility kilt. Now, locals ask him to run for mayor. He’s become a regular part of the landscape around here, like one of the hearty wild flowers that spring up beside the tracks. One of his strengths is to mine the cultural underground for seeds and then plant them in unsuspecting places and people. Communities form around my husband. They gather at the shop, as they have today, for batches of smoked vegetables and chicken. They create artwork and seek inspiration that will help them through bouts of depression, poverty and general transition. They express a spectrum of excitement, disappointment and gratitude. The latest community is stronger than any I’ve encountered to date. They have united over steel—or, more specifically, the way steel can be made to sing.

My daughter beside our "industrial river"

In my mind’s eye, I envision cultural underground communities functioning as webs rather than isolated singularities. A leader emerges who trains, both directly and indirectly, individuals to become potential leaders of their own collectives, which all remain linked in some way to the parent community. The leaders are not at the top of a hierarchy in the traditional sense. Rather, they function like spiders, resting calmly at the center of the web, gracefully weaving and re-weaving connections as needed. If my husband is one of these weavers, then Alberto Roman lives at the center of the web from which C. takes his greatest inspiration. I finally met Alberto for the first time last Tuesday. As seems to so often be the case with me, I was darting out the door. Then I changed my plans. My daughter had an apocalyptic meltdown. My son soiled his diaper. Alberto offered to go, but I insisted he stay and bear witness to the storm of which I am the eye.

According to his Facebook profile, Alberto is a Costa Rica born former substance abuse counselor, probation officer and hospital resource specialist who has also spent decades exploring humanity’s connection to the Divine via his involvement in sacred ceremonies which utilize his experience as an instrumentalist and natural healer. Alberto’s degrees in psychology and philosophy relate to his spiritual work. However, Alberto tells me that his greatest moment of inspiration struck when he was around 9 years old walking to the end of his driveway. He became filled with a pervasive sense of joy that he felt compelled to share. At this point in my blogging journey, I would like to share some of Aberto’s spirit with you. Light a candle & some incense. Prepare a pot of your favorite tea. Then listen to the interview linked below. Motivational speaker and parenting expert Bob Lancer does a fantastic job of helping Alberto articulate his vision for an emerging culture of the natural shaman. CLICK HERE TO LISTEN!

Trial and Tribulation: My Take on the Anthony Case

Nancy Grace's propensity for sensational news makes me question her mental stability. As a result, I followed very little of her coverage (and other media coverage) of Casey Anthony's landmark trial. Instead, I checked the highlights after the verdict had been made, and it seems to me that much of America has been swept into a media frenzy and is jumping to major conclusions. Personally, I am caught between A) wishing all discussion of this issue will simply dissipate and B) feeling inspired to provide people with a new perspective on the tragedy. The second tendancy has prevailed, so read on for my personal opinion of the case:

To my understanding, Casey Anthony allowed her daughter Caylee to die in a pool because she wasn't watching her. When Casy found her child, she freaked out, dumped the body in the woods beside her house, made up the story about how Caylee had been kidnapped and then pretty much tried to fake her daughter's kidnapping and murder by going so far as to look up details about creating specific injuries in a frenzy following her daughter's death. She even attempted to place duct tape on her daughter body and then ripped it off in what must have been a moment of clarity, grief and disgust. Casey is most definitely ill. However,a group of jurors deemed that she is not the "party mom" who murdered her child to have more "party time," as much of America has framed her to be, and I believe those jurors are probably correct.

A mother who deliberately harms her children is easily villified. Villifying her can also become fodder for commercialized news & entertainment because people are thinking, "I may not be a great person, but at least I'm not THAT bad. That woman is TERRIBLE." However, if you consider the idea that Caylee did tragically die in a pool while unattended, then this humanizes Casey just a little too much, and makes her seem just a little too relatable to all the moms whose kids have unknowingly slipped out the back door. After wrapping that thought around your mind, think about the familial and social factors that may make a woman actually believe it's better to fake a kidnapping & murder (as Casey did) than to simply report her child's horribly accidental death. The conversation gets very complex, quite sticky, gravely important and not nearly so suitable for info-tainment. The media points to Casey's infamous "party pictures" as evidence that Casey was seeking a party lifestyle. I think they may be just as easily held as evidence that she'd cracked after finding her deceased child and was filling her mind with as much fluff as she could to keep from going more insane with grief. All told, the case really makes for a pretty deep sociological/psychological​ study, but I regret it is just going to go down in history as a sensationalized event.

At a minimum, I think all parents have at least 3 things to learn as a result of this incident:
1. Do not be a person so filled with fear that you turn your life into a nightmare.
2. Pay attention to your children's whereabouts.
3. If you have an above ground pool, remove the ladder after use so that wandering 2-year-olds can't fall in.

That's my stance. Air your thoughts and move on.

Publicity!

Please read my thoughts about education on Kate Fridkis' brilliant blog Skipping School. Please leave comments on the post, and take some time to check out her awesomely original writing about learning outside the box.

Soul Mates, Karmic Partners and Twin Flames

A former student chatted with me this morning about her mother's re-marriage, and I felt inspired to summarize the myth of Soul Mates, Karmic Partners and Twin Flames. Doing so reminded me that this has become one of my "signature myths." I discovered it upon meeting my husband and have since shared it with many of my closest friends. Now, I extend it to you. Here are condensed descriptions of each relationship type. Bear in mind, the myth accepts reincarnation as a reality. As with all myths, you may choose what you believe to resonate with truth and leave the rest. Also, most people apply these descriptions to romantic relationships; however, there is no need to limit them. These terms apply to all close relationships.

Soul Mates: These people are like cosmic classmates. You incarnate together lifetime after lifetime and just seem to "get" each other. This is because you are literally energy vibrating at about the same frequency. You may have greatly different life experiences; however, you approach life with the same basic perspective. You help each other evolve at a steady pace and have few troubles. Everyone has many soul mates. When soul mates unite, they often work closely together to nourish the development of children and/or innovative ideas.

Karmic Partners: These are people with whom you have some specific issue to resolve. Your immediate bond is intense, but the longevity of your relationship is limited. Either you learn from each other, find peace and then go your separate ways OR you realize the issue cannot be resolved at the present time and go your separate ways. You will re-encounter each other, or similar souls, when you are more prepared to learn what needs learning and to heal what needs healing. Relationships with karmic partners can be very rewarding and empowering when past issues are resolved and healed. They become "go to" people in times of need and the kind of "exes" who remain your friends. Alternatively, relationships with karmic partners are prone to becoming abusive and draining. When this occurs, additional negative energy accrues; however, some people fight to stay together out of the mis-guided belief that they have a karmic debt to settle with each other. Allow the relationship to dissipate, knowing that debts will be settled when you are ready and that any premature attempt to "push the river" will only cause greater harm.

Twin Flames: These people originate from the same energy at the same time. Therefore, they represent different aspects of the same person. Twin Flame relationships can be very difficult because you are constantly being forced to face parts of yourself that may make you uncomfortable or ashamed. At the same time, Twin Flame relationships are earth-shakingly loving. Committed Twin Flame partners inspire rapid personal evolution with enough force to significantly change the world.

In the spirit of this post, check out Joan Baez performing her classic "Diamonds and Rust."

Free to Fly: My First Healing Session with Bhima Giri

I lay down upon the bed where my husband received his healing before me. My son slumbered next to me in his crib as my daughter slept upstairs. My stepson son was distant but close within my heart. I waited for a light and was greeted by a fly.  Buzzing, buzzing, he walked along my arms and legs and circled my head. He flew toward my throat opening the chakra there so I could speak honest and true. I twitched but received the gifts of this creature. Energy tense within me began to relax and flow slowly through me as though my life force were being renewed. Blocks cleared in my left leg, right arm and throat. My crown chakra opened wider, and I felt a peaceful calling to step away from what constrains me and to fly free.  A crystal lotus-shaped vase began to glow. A gift from either my husband's stepmother or a former student, I have not thought of it as sacred, but it is what I need, a missing piece for rituals now and later. I take this renewed gift with gratitude and peace that flows through my evolving spirit. Our session marks the awakening of the next stage of a major transformation started four years ago following a fire that stimulated creation in the wake of its destruction. There is love among the ruins. Flowers in the ashes. Beauty in the ugliness. Humor in the severity. Laugh and Be. These are the messages I take with me. My husband called to unknowingly signal the end of our session, his pilgrimage underway on this Solstice day. Today we will walk through a week, physically separate and spiritually united, as we have never been before. I'm thankful to encounter Bhima Giri along my way. Lightening bug in the day time dances around my son. My daughter wakes. Blessings come. And, I recognize the blessings that have always been. Peace. Fire. Love. Power. Release. Kali. Be.

http://www.facebook.com/notes/bhima-giri/white-lotus-activating-try-your-first-healing-session-free/10150221029182945

Visit the link above for more information about scheduling a healing session.

Full Circle: Talkin' Hula Hoops and Life with John Adams

 Above: John's hoops and his cat Duncan

The day before Twilight 2011, my husband C. and I arrived in Athens around midnight with our two youngest children in tow.  Tornadoes had just swept through our corner of Northwest Georgia, and 24 hours ago we’d all been crouched, along with our dog and 70-something-year-old godfather, in our root cellar.  When we crawled out into life without power and internet, we packed our Airstream camper and took to the road.  We had already planned to go to Gwinnett County for my stepson’s birthday, but, instead of turning back after our time at Chuck E. Cheese, we just kept going North on I-85.  Having graduated from UGA in 2004, I had Athens in mind as a destination.  However, I neither knew about the upcoming races nor stayed to enjoy them.  Instead the highlight of my Athens adventure happened behind a Baxter Street strip mall where my husband found a tiny slice of spring paradise and set up a temporary campsite for me and our children while he used the coin laundry facility next door.  I filled my time by interviewing my old friend John Adams, a former Russell Hall co-ed turned hula-hoop maker, and discovered four little nuggets of wisdom. 

1.  Evolution happens.

John says, “When you’re a little kid, you get a plastic hula hoop that is really no good.”  He continues to imply that, in and of itself, this isn’t a major problem because little kids do seem to have a lot of fun with plastic hula hoops.  However, allowing this child’s toy to completely shape your perception is an issue.  In reality, there is a whole sub-culture of hula-hoop girls out there who devote a lot of time and attention to the art of hoop dancing and take pride in showing off the results at concerts and creative festivals nationwide.  John is inspired by watching these lovely women perform.  At the same time, he recognizes that taking such a dualistic, child’s toy vs. serious hoop dancer, approach is limiting.  Free-spirited, fun, flexible, durable and individual are some adjectives that describe both John’s hoops and the sort of personally evolving folks for whom they’re made.   

2. Struggle is over-rated.

John looks at me then smiles slyly.  “You don’t have to exert effort to hula hoop well,” he says.  His meaning is that quality hula hoops tend to keep themselves in motion without people going overboard to keep them spinning.  I think this is a good metaphor for how people choose to live. If you construct a life plan that is rigid and unoriginal, you may have a difficult time keeping it in motion.  However, if you create a life plan that is designed to be personally sustainable, then it takes little added effort to keep it going and reap the rewards. In keeping with this philosophy, John seems open to embracing new ways of living until he finds the one that fits best. 

3. Create your own reality.

 John reveals that his hula hoops are constructed mainly from irrigation PVC pipe and carefully applied alternating colors of electrical tape.  He adds that the internet has been instrumental in helping him make hoops effectively and spread the news about his products.  One may say the accessibility of materials and information comes from a willingness to create new uses for existing things and to openly accept the wisdom that others voluntarily share—two more great practices for balanced living.

4. Be natural.

When I think of John, I remember the guy I met while signing our buddy Nora’s petition to have permanent ash trays installed outside Russell Hall.  He was tough—always kind of angry but still interested in the world and the lives of the people with whom his life intersected, a young man at the center of both teenage drama and early spiritual awakening.  Ten years later, interviewing John about making hula hoops feels strangely natural. Perhaps this is because the motivation behind the work seems so honest and clear.  In addition to citing his girlfriend Christen as inspiration, he simply states, “I saw a beautiful thing in the world and wanted people to know about it, to have it.”  If the inspiration behind all great ideas were so natural and direct, people would probably have a lot more peace. 

To order a customized hoop from John just in time for summer concert season, e-mail jadams3@jsu.edu.

Sorry ,Sid

Sid the Science Kid is a decent show most of the time, but today they are singing about getting vaccinations. The song tells children that it is their civic duty to become vaccinated.  Seriously? Do people really think this way? This episode is a clear-cut example of propaganda directed right at youth. I will use it one day to teach my kids a lesson about the importance of being critical of the media at the same time that I teach them about why we don't support vaccination in our home. As for today, my 3-year-old is shouting at the TV, "Siiiiiiid, they're WRONG!" Go girl!

As for me, I probably would have been singin' and dancin' right along with Sid at my daughter's age, but, then, I hadn't had biology yet. My current opinions of vaccination are addressed pretty well in the following article:

http://www.healthychild.com/vaccine-choices/the-case-against-immunizatons/

To summarize: There is little to no solid evidence that vaccinations actually do what they claim. There is also limited evidence that vaccines cause autism, cancer and severe degenerative physical and mental illness., as their opponents claim. However, the illnesses which vaccines fight are generally less horrific than the illnesses they may create. Since it's a gamble either way, I'd rather my kids get sick with something more or less "natural" than with something that I WILLINGLY GIVE THEM in the form of a chemical cocktail sometimes cultured upon a base of . . . wait for it. . . . monkey brains. I think most common-sense people would agree with me were it not for social programming like ol' Sid the Science Kid that makes it look like vaccination is the choice of sweet kindergarten teachers and loving grandmas. In contrast, the face of anti-vaccination must look like a monster.

Do I look like a monster?

I don't think so.

Does the pharmaceutical industry somehow fund Sid's existence? Probably.

What is Natural Parenting?

Multiple sources define "natural parenting" in slightly different ways.  Having read several of them, I think of natural parenting like this: It's a way of nurturing and relating to your child that maximizes his or her inherent strengths and abilities as well as your own.  Rather than looking to outside sources to protect, educate, or indoctrinate your child, it asks that we first look within at our own physical, mental, and spiritual resources. It's a form of self-empowerment that usually turns out to be physically healthier as well.  While it doesn't condemn mainstream society, it does encourage free thought, and it gives children the right to claim their own voices, ask questions, and forgo traditional wisdom when they sincerely believe it to contradict what they know to be best for themselves. 

In my opinion, the following list sums up general characteristics of natural parents and their children:

1. We take a holistic approach to health care and are well-versed in alternative medicine.  Even though we sometimes deem medical doctors necessary, we support natural childbirth, resist mandatory vaccination, and use a combination of healthy eating, gentle exercise, meditation, supplementation, and alternative therapies to treat and prevent most illnesses.

2. We practice green-living and enjoy spending time outdoors.

3. We build a family-like network with people who may or may not be related to us by blood.  As a result, we frequently volunteer at community events and invite others into our homes.  We may plan regular gatherings and open community centers or non-profits.  When we travel, we typically make a point to connect with the locals instead of sticking to tourist attractions that could appear anywhere.

4.  We have a deep appreciation for music, literature, and art.  We encourage our families to create.

5. We take a non-traditional approach to education and home school our children or send them to private schools that reflect our personal philosophies.

6. We have a deep sense of spirituality; however, it's typically too rebellious for the confines of organized religion. 

7. When it comes to disciplining our children, we focus less on praise and punishment and more on helping our kids objectively understand and learn from every incident so they may independently become the best possible versions of their own unique selves.

Personally, I strive to be a natural parent. In the course of raising my two children and stepson, I've found another way to define natural parenting: It is giving birth to yourself and being transformed into someone who manifests the future for her family, one day at a time.

For more information about natural parenting, explore the links below.

Natural Childbirth FAQ

The Vaccination Question

The Business of Being Born

Plan C

Well, I did not complete the 11 day challenge as planned, but my hodge-podge approach to viewing the daily videos seemed to reveal a general pattern which I’ve adapted to a little world view I like to call Plan C.  Feel free to really let you mind run with all the undertones of that title.  Now, check it out.  It goes something like this. . . .

CREATE  . . .  art, crafts, good vibrations, a nourishing meal, a new opportunity.  The form your creation takes doesn’t matter.  The act of consciously manifesting something is enough.

CARE . . . for others and yourself.  Share hugs, share encouragement, share a meal, clean up messes.  Acknowledge the adage that we are all fighting a hard battle.  Infuse your being with a pervasive sense of care.

 CONNECT. . .  with others, with nature, with yourself.  Connecting gives your thoughts a context and common ground on which to take root and flourish.  Connecting brings us purpose and relieves fear.     

Pretty fabulous, right?  And simple.  Complexity is a C-word we don't need.  I'm interested in the core of things. 

The Visions

"Somewhere beyond all ideas of right-doing and wrong-doing, there is a field.  I will meet you there." Rumi                           

I close my eyes and focus on wrapping Earth in a rainbow.  Each color receives special attention: Red. Orange. Yellow. Green. Blue. Indigo. Violet.  With my mind, I carry each ribbon of the spectrum across the surface of our spinning planet, cradling it first in one direction and then in the other until it looks snug—like a  dearly decorated Christmas gift or an infant in a sling.  Light radiates from the rainbow Earth, and, as it spins, the light pushes back the rainbow ribbons.  On its surface, some people’s souls glow brighter with the shimmering of the rainbows.  Others dim and fall away with silent grace and drift out into the universe like snowflakes sinking softly to the ground.  I think of a light glowing within my throat and the following words come to mind: Speak truth.  Be peace.

The next day, the rainbows have been replaced by candle flames showering the Earth in a warm-orange glow.  I see a crystal around my heart begin to shatter, and my mind draws rainbows around my husband and me, simultaneously warming us and cooling us down.  Flames burn out from people’s mouths as their thoughts catch fire around the world.  Then silence descends, candle light returns, and the soft glow comes from me. 

On our third day of meditation, my husband and I sat alone.  Instead of closing my eyes, I consulted my oracle cards to guide my mind through the chaos of its thoughts.  These urged me to stop pushing rivers and allow life to flow, recognize appreciation when shared and find a way to express myself with strength, grace and sincerity. 

Yesterday, I took my meditation in the park, nowhere near 11:11, as I strolled my infant son.  At home, my husband built a pretend world with my stepson after posting to Facebook his thoughts on God’s existence independent of religion, and my daughter napped deeply in the safe embrace of her room as I rounded a weatherworn track at the local park.  The vision that unfolded happened in real-time as I watched the birds ascend from the ice-speckled ground.  First, I saw a small memorial built to honor men who fell in war and, just beyond that, a steeple rising up through the snow.  Then, after the signs of politics and religion, was an empty expanse of sun-sparkling snow, spreading out alongside the railroad tracks, reminding me of Rumi’s field which exists somewhere beyond all ideas of right-doing and wrong. The thought, “May this be the future,” lit quickly in my brain.  Resting in his carriage, facing toward me, my sleeping son smiled, and we headed home.

Day 1: Gratitude & "One Love"

On Day 1 of his Ignite! Challenge, Alex asked us particpants to compile a list of 10 things for which we're greatful.  He also asked us to beign a new practice of taking 3 cleansing breaths and of identifying and embracing a theme song for each new day. 

My gratitude list

1. My husband.  There is no one else like him, but he is always spreading the awareness that all are one.  I’m thankful to spend my life with someone I love, and I’m thankful that the one I love loves me in return.

2. Our daughter Kyra Lena.  The care with which she treats her baby dolls and makes me imaginary tea and snarls as though she’s a little monster who likes to sing with abandon, give kisses and terrorize her brothers (who are at once her adversaries and her dearest friends) embodies the idea of balance in the most beautiful way imaginable and gives me faith in myself and everything. I’m thankful that I was able to have her naturally and that, after nearly 40 hours of uncertainty, she emerged healthy and strong into my arms.

3. Our son, Valor.  At 4 months, he radiates the purest love I have seen.  His smiles, his laughter, his determination and joy remind everyone he meets why it’s good to be human.  I’m thankful that I embraced my unexpected pregnancy with him and delivered him naturally as well, in less time and with less fear, than I did his big sis’.

4. My stepson, Aldan.  Aldan has a dream in which he consciously chooses to live and a flying pig tells him that he’s going to “rock on.” I’m thankful that, upon meeting the child on his first birthday, I watched him kick one baby-fat leg toward me and knew immediately that I accepted him as my child forever even though he did not enter this world through my body.

5. My house.  In a time when foreclosure is high and society is in flux, the flexibility of my freelancing lifestyle allows us to find a way to stay in the warm and protective walls of the beautiful home my husband built 2 years ago.  I’m also thankful that I live in a place where I can easily walk all the way across town, to a park and the store all the while watching the oddly captivating beauty of passing trains.

6. Warm running water.  Somehow, we always find a way to afford this luxury.  With warm running water, everything will become clean eventually, and the knowledge of this brings me peace.  Throughout my life, nothing has been quite as conducive to peaceful, healing meditations as a deep soak in our claw foot tub or a powerful shower that stays hot.  I have warm running water to thank for that.

7.  Food.  Somehow, we always have enough, and most of it is very tasty and increasingly healthy, largely due to my husband’s desire to help our family evolve our consumption practices .

8. Internet.  Sounds weird, but I’m thankful for this web of connections that allows people to share information, increase awareness, practice free speech and instantly chat with friends new and old.  It also allows me to work as a teacher, writer and entrepreneur and is available at my home and, lately, in hotspots all around the world.  Were it not for this technology, I would not know about Alex Obed’s Ignite Challenge, and I would not be able to share my progress with you.

9. Payment plans.  Like National Parks, just knowing they exist brings me peace.  Not everything must be done at once.  When we’re proactive, we can take things one step at a time and look forward to the release that will come when all debt is resolved.

10. Art—as it exists in all its form, natural and man-made.  Art—a word that, by defying definition, reminds me that not all good things must be so easily defined.  Art—the ultimate form of creative expression which brings us back to ourselves and reminds us we are more powerful than we believe.

One. Two. Three.  Breathe.

CLICK HERE TO ENJOY MY SONG--A melody heard 'round the world

Ignite!

On January 11, 2011, I began participating in an 11-day challenge called Ignite.  The idea is to spend 11 minutes daily focused on maximizing time spent with oneself and radiating positive energy throughout the world.  An Atlanta-based life coach named Alex Obed created the challenge and posts daily videos to give the participants ideas about how to spend their 11 minutes.  In my blog this week, I’m posting my responses to his challenge.  As per usual for me, my timing is a bit off, but I’m not letting that small detail deter me from following through with my plans.   After all, Einstein said “the separation between past, present, and future is only an illusion, although a convincing one." So, let’s be realistic: timing is over-rated anyway. :-)

In addition to following Alex's guidelines, my husband and I have also begun a practice of meditating for 11 minutes each day at 11:11 (either AM or PM, depending on the children's sleeping schedules).  I'll be posting some of the visions and insights that have come to me during these as well.

For more info. about Ignite and Alex Obed, please CLICK HERE.

Waking up is hard to do.

Waking up is hard to do. 

As a child, I would be overcome by the sensation that nothing that happened the day before was real.  My parents lived in such a remote universe that my “alternative life” as a teenager who actively volunteered with human rights groups, worked on a literary magazine and drove her friends to all parts of town in search of adventure and youthful thrills just didn’t seem to fit with the minimalistic perfection of my bedroom.  This mistrust of my perceptions was always compounded by the early morning feeling that life around me was kind of settling into place as though the very particles that made up my bed, bookcase and mirror had shifted forms during the night. For a few fleeting moments in the morning, my room would feel much more like a movie-set than the familiar and constant haven it was intended to be.

In college, the sensation that my surroundings weren’t real persisted but shifted.  I would wake thinking I was in my childhood room to find myself stretched out on the dorm lawn with my friends, nuzzled in my tiny cot across from my distant roommate or, later, lying beside my boyfriend who may have been thrashing about in the throes of seizure brought on by low blood sugar and diabetes.  Calling an ambulance in those days almost became rote action, as did reaching for a tube of glucose and then racing off to class on foot a mile or so away.  Once, I was standing outside the journalism building during a tornado watch.  I saw a wall of water hurtling toward me.  It passed over my body without me feeling anything except a quick rush of wind.  It was not until a few seconds later that wet water drops smacked into me, soaking me from behind.  Much of my college experience can be understood in terms of that awakening : I faced life head-on but didn’t register what I was happening until it had already left me, shaking but still standing, in the distance.

Now I wake up to my husband breathing steadily beside me and my infant son rustling the blankets in his bed.  Upstairs my daughter may be stomping around making pretend tea and practicing expressions in her mirror.  Every other weekend, and sometimes many days in between, my stepson will be shuffling around downstairs rooting through his siblings’ toys, tinkering with crayons and peeping into the mysterious cavern that is my home office.  I wake up feeling simultaneously stressed out and peaceful.  What debts must we pay?  How will we ever pay them?  What tasks must I do to maintain my house, my jobs, my sanity and health of my husband and kids?  This is the stressful part.  The peace comes from the simple acknowledgement that we are all here together –united by love and uplifted by my adult interpretation of the sensation I had as child:  Reality is not fixed, so I’m free to create a world in which all our needs are met.  I’m no longer living with people whose visions are out-of-step with my own.  I have the freedom to manifest a waking dream.  I’m not sure how I got here, but it’s awesome.

Welcome to my blog Rasberry Relief: Nourishment for Women.  What visions stir your soul as you lift your face to the morning sun?